The Night Before EIHL Christmas

with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore this Christmas Eve, here is Chasing Dragons’ version of the Night Before Christmas, for the EIHL and all its fans. Enjoy:

Twas the Night Before Christmas, & around the Elite League,
In Belfast they smiled, and in Sheffield they seethed,
For the Giants were top, the Steelers they weren’t,
While meanwhile in Coventry the Blaze did not burn,
But in Dundee Stars shone, much to Simmsey’s surprise
“3rd world teams beat US?! Can’t believe my eyes!”

Moray Hanson, meanwhile, was the discipline Grinch,
“Step out of line, and your team’ll feel the pinch!”
Derek Campbell, and Conboy, and Nickerson too
“Dirty players in the Elite League-he’s COMING FOR YOU.”

Flyers and Caps, those by the Forth say
are ready for war, on Hogmanay,
But in Fife they dislike more Chris Frank and the Clan,
When they met in Kirkcaldy, the Beard earned a ban.

But what of the Panthers? What did they have in store?
An autumn full of imports galore
Not eleven, not twelve, or thirteen, but more.
A whole team’s worth of imports
Through the NIC’s door

And Hull-the Stingrays-the “jellyfish” of yore
Doucet, Tendler and Lauzon, how often they score!
Ten past the Caps, 7 past Panthers too
Cloutier’s doing well, and he’ll do better yet, too.

In Sheffield, the Steelers are no expense spared
Christiansen’s “new systems” dance in player’s heads
But they’re currently proving what Simms says is lies
“Big budgets won’t guarantee you a prize”

“Statistics mean nothing”-in Coventry they say
But the numbers show different. Blaze are in disarray.
This Yuletide in Coventry, the fans ask for wins
Otherwise “Happy New Year” will more likely be grim.

In Belfast, there’s joy on the banks of the Lagan
The Giants are firing up the title bandwagon
They’ll be seven points clear, on this Christmas Day
There could be trophies again on the Giants Causeway

The Stars they are glowing, up north in Dundee
Bakala’s a gem, and so’s Sacchetti
They’re in the top four, but can they stay there?
If they all stay healthy, there’s success in the air.

In Cardiff it’s been an “interesting” year
Militias, confusion, & coaching unclear
But they’ve found a Kurka, in Tomas the Czech
And now there’s hope, of happiness yet

In Braehead the Clan, the pride of Glasgow
Champions in waiting? They might be, you know.
An army in purple, growing strong each year
They’re now a team for others to fear

And finally Edinburgh, home of “banter” that’s barmy.
Bawbags Of The Week, and Hartmann’s Euro Army
Consider this fact, as you munch your Yule Log
They’re the reason we all love the underdog.

But this year the league already got its best gift
Live games on TV, in a regular shift
Thanks to Aaron Murphy, coverage that’s Premier
(Let’s just hope that Benn Olson lets him live til New Year)

So as you open your presents, be you Star, Blaze or Clan,
Or Steeler, or Stingray, or even Panthers fan
Flyer, Capital, Devil, and of course Giant, too
Here’s a heartfelt message, from Chasing Dragons to you

Thanks for reading my words, and sharing these lines
May your skates be sharp, your shots find only twine
And wherever your team may have its home ice
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


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